I've got two weeks exactly until I'm back at college.
I am 119lbs right now, hideously fat and ugly. I did something stupid and carved 'fat' into my thigh last night. Stupid, stupid. The moment comes sometimes and it doesn't matter.
At least it's motivation! ;)
My two week plan is to eat 250 calories per day (soup, veg, fruit, cups of tea, crackers, mainly...)
and exercise a lot :)
My 'base' exercise which I have to do every single day without fail is:
morning: stretch, yoga, pilates
day/evening: 30 minutes exercise bike
night: stretch, pilates, yoga
And on top of that, I have to go jogging at least 7 times before college, so that means pretty much once every other day. I can't say every day because English weather isn't trustworthy and I haven't got my gym membership yet (I plan to in a month).
My awful weight and measurements now:
weight: 119lbs (8 stone 7 pounds)
breast: 36"
waist: 28"
hips: 35"
thies: 20"
My goals for in two weeks are:
weight: 110lbs (7 stone 12 pounds)
breast: 35/36"
waist: 25"
hips: 34"
thies: 18"
I need to lose 9 pounds, 3 inches off my waist, 1 inch off my hips and 2 inches off my thies. In two weeks, I hope I can do it. I can't be hated and fat!
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
Monday, 18 July 2011
Doing the Plan I've planned for a while
Despite the horrendous weather, the plan I've been working on for summer has finally come to head. I will be 95 lbs in seven weeks time. I am so excited.
As always, there's a problem. I have D cup breasts, and I like them a lot. That's one thing I have to sacrifice, and I genuinely am willing, however I know one day I may use that as an excuse to eat again. I must not give in, I will be fine with B/C cup. I'd love to keep them at a reasonable C cup and have a tiny waist, that would be amazing.
So, the plan consists of over 7 weeks. I'm on my first day, and this week I am slowly getting back into not eating much (I've been on holiday). Today I should consume 700 calories, so far I've had 455 (in porridge, tea, crackers, smoothie, grapes). I have 245 left over and one and a half hours to do so. Trying not to sound weird, but I don't know what to eat to have that much.
I could just have another cup of tea and a cracker or two so I hit 500 and stick at that. It's not as if I need more!
I weighed myself, and I am right now 118 lbs. I have done next to nothing in the exercise area, however I am planning on 20 minutes in about an hour (creeping myself back in).
I am very surprised I did not gain a lot of weight over the holiday, because I sure as hell ate a lot. Then again, I spent about 10-12 hours each day walking in heels. Even on the journeys.
Je suis tres optimistes.
I gave up the coffee fast, I got seriously unwell and the worst mood haunted me, it was yucky.
Fingers crossed everything goes to plan!
As always, there's a problem. I have D cup breasts, and I like them a lot. That's one thing I have to sacrifice, and I genuinely am willing, however I know one day I may use that as an excuse to eat again. I must not give in, I will be fine with B/C cup. I'd love to keep them at a reasonable C cup and have a tiny waist, that would be amazing.
So, the plan consists of over 7 weeks. I'm on my first day, and this week I am slowly getting back into not eating much (I've been on holiday). Today I should consume 700 calories, so far I've had 455 (in porridge, tea, crackers, smoothie, grapes). I have 245 left over and one and a half hours to do so. Trying not to sound weird, but I don't know what to eat to have that much.
I could just have another cup of tea and a cracker or two so I hit 500 and stick at that. It's not as if I need more!
I weighed myself, and I am right now 118 lbs. I have done next to nothing in the exercise area, however I am planning on 20 minutes in about an hour (creeping myself back in).
I am very surprised I did not gain a lot of weight over the holiday, because I sure as hell ate a lot. Then again, I spent about 10-12 hours each day walking in heels. Even on the journeys.
Je suis tres optimistes.
I gave up the coffee fast, I got seriously unwell and the worst mood haunted me, it was yucky.
Fingers crossed everything goes to plan!
Friday, 8 July 2011
good day I believe
exercise:
30 minutes walking
20 minutes exercise bike
food:
5 cups of coffee semi skimmed milk 1 sugar (250 calories)
1 cup of coffee semi skimmed milk (25 calories)
7 glasses of water (0 calories)
So that's no solid food, 40 minutes exercise, and 275 calories. Not too bad, I just need to make sure I don't slip up on days to come.
30 minutes walking
20 minutes exercise bike
food:
5 cups of coffee semi skimmed milk 1 sugar (250 calories)
1 cup of coffee semi skimmed milk (25 calories)
7 glasses of water (0 calories)
So that's no solid food, 40 minutes exercise, and 275 calories. Not too bad, I just need to make sure I don't slip up on days to come.
Coffee, water and air
I nearly gave in about an hour ago and had beans on toast or a mini pizza. I let my mind drift to other things though, and did a 20 minute go on the exercise bike.
I've also done 30 minutes of walking, so I haven't done no exercise but it's not great. It will get so much harder over the summer, and I'm determined everything will go to plan.
About the last post, it's true, them scales were wrong. 2 other scales have told me I weigh 118lbs...
So, I moved the scales, and suddenly, it tells me the right weight? They say 119, though, but a pound extra will just make me more motivated. So from now on I weigh myself on them scales, and go completely by that.
119lbs... right where I started. Fuck.
Then again, I went a week or two of giving up, and waiting. So it comes as no surprise I guess.
I am currently on my third cup of coffee today, with 1 teaspoon of sugar in each (and it's instant).
I'll allow myself 1 or 2 more. I'm not eating for a while. All I need is coffee, water and air.
I've had 3 glasses of water, so I at least need 3 more. Should really be 5 more, and 7 more would be lovely.
I'm quite tired - but coffee keeps me awake and okay. I will only indulge in coffee and water until Tuesday. So that will be four days of no food at all. Sounds great, good way to lose a bit of extra weight fast and get a kick start.
Then, on Tuesday, I shall eat 1 piece of fruit at breakfast ONLY.
And then on Wednesday - 2 pieces of fruit or vegetables (breakfast and late lunch/early tea).
I'll do a little more exercise on them days, also. And then I go to Paris.
Thursday -
Sitting on a coach for sixteen fucking hours. I'll bring my mini weights so I can do exercise if I get bored. Then again, 8 of them hours I would usually be sleeping anyway. Whenever we stop at a place I'll make sure I stretch, and I'll try to fidget as much as possible (sorry whoever sits next to me...)
We're supposedly having breakfast on the ferry. I won't, I'll skip that. Maybe buy a bottle of water.
I won't eat at all on the coach. Then, when we get to our hotel, we have nothing really to do. Tea is going to be difficult, I'll have to practice the eating illusion. I'll just put an average amount on my plate and only eat about 1 portion on vegetables. If anyone asks, I'll say I'm never hungry after travelling.
I'm bringing my skipping rope, so I'll do a little bit on that, some yoga, and some pilates before bed.
Friday -
Disneyland. Oh, the joys. Yes, no sarcasm, the joys! However, what the fuck am I meant to do?! Take about 10 diet pills, of course. Maybe 8, I don't want to be unwell in disneyland after all. Luckily I'll only be with 1 or 2 friends here and they'll understand if I don't keep eating. We're planning on eating at pizza planet, and I am planning on eating something sweet (and I don't want to throw my food up in disneyland, either...)
So I'll have to rely on my pills, I guess. Which is rather frightening. I'll also do exercise that night.
Saturday -
A day in Paris!
I will be eating, no doubt. Again, lots of diet pills. Lots of exercise that night.
Sunday -
Way back from Paris. I will eat a piece of fruit at breakfast, and then nothing for the rest of the day.
After this I can continue as normal (fasting, dieting and shit) however there's one little thing.
The last Harry Potter movie, I shall be eating sweet popcorn and an unhealthy drink and quite possibly some chocolate. Diet pills of course, and I have planned that the week after I see it I shall be on a fast anyway.
And that is all!
I've also done 30 minutes of walking, so I haven't done no exercise but it's not great. It will get so much harder over the summer, and I'm determined everything will go to plan.
About the last post, it's true, them scales were wrong. 2 other scales have told me I weigh 118lbs...
So, I moved the scales, and suddenly, it tells me the right weight? They say 119, though, but a pound extra will just make me more motivated. So from now on I weigh myself on them scales, and go completely by that.
119lbs... right where I started. Fuck.
Then again, I went a week or two of giving up, and waiting. So it comes as no surprise I guess.
I am currently on my third cup of coffee today, with 1 teaspoon of sugar in each (and it's instant).
I'll allow myself 1 or 2 more. I'm not eating for a while. All I need is coffee, water and air.
I've had 3 glasses of water, so I at least need 3 more. Should really be 5 more, and 7 more would be lovely.
I'm quite tired - but coffee keeps me awake and okay. I will only indulge in coffee and water until Tuesday. So that will be four days of no food at all. Sounds great, good way to lose a bit of extra weight fast and get a kick start.
Then, on Tuesday, I shall eat 1 piece of fruit at breakfast ONLY.
And then on Wednesday - 2 pieces of fruit or vegetables (breakfast and late lunch/early tea).
I'll do a little more exercise on them days, also. And then I go to Paris.
Thursday -
Sitting on a coach for sixteen fucking hours. I'll bring my mini weights so I can do exercise if I get bored. Then again, 8 of them hours I would usually be sleeping anyway. Whenever we stop at a place I'll make sure I stretch, and I'll try to fidget as much as possible (sorry whoever sits next to me...)
We're supposedly having breakfast on the ferry. I won't, I'll skip that. Maybe buy a bottle of water.
I won't eat at all on the coach. Then, when we get to our hotel, we have nothing really to do. Tea is going to be difficult, I'll have to practice the eating illusion. I'll just put an average amount on my plate and only eat about 1 portion on vegetables. If anyone asks, I'll say I'm never hungry after travelling.
I'm bringing my skipping rope, so I'll do a little bit on that, some yoga, and some pilates before bed.
Friday -
Disneyland. Oh, the joys. Yes, no sarcasm, the joys! However, what the fuck am I meant to do?! Take about 10 diet pills, of course. Maybe 8, I don't want to be unwell in disneyland after all. Luckily I'll only be with 1 or 2 friends here and they'll understand if I don't keep eating. We're planning on eating at pizza planet, and I am planning on eating something sweet (and I don't want to throw my food up in disneyland, either...)
So I'll have to rely on my pills, I guess. Which is rather frightening. I'll also do exercise that night.
Saturday -
A day in Paris!
I will be eating, no doubt. Again, lots of diet pills. Lots of exercise that night.
Sunday -
Way back from Paris. I will eat a piece of fruit at breakfast, and then nothing for the rest of the day.
After this I can continue as normal (fasting, dieting and shit) however there's one little thing.
The last Harry Potter movie, I shall be eating sweet popcorn and an unhealthy drink and quite possibly some chocolate. Diet pills of course, and I have planned that the week after I see it I shall be on a fast anyway.
And that is all!
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
I see point, again!:)
Diet pills will help on the occasions I want to eat in the near-by future.
And I'll only be eating about 2 meals in the duration of 4 days.
So, I've devised a new plan. I want to be 95lbs, with a 20" waist. No more 23" wanting, 20 is now my goal.
I want to go from 36, 27, 35 to > 35, 20, 33
I'm not aiming to lose the inch off of my breasts, but I know it will happen if I want to be in proportion. I'd be okay with 34" as well, but below I may start getting a little self conscious. I've always had fairy big breasts.
In 9 weeks I aim to be 100lbs (7 stone 2) with a 23" waist. Then I can lose the extra 3 inches and 5 pounds after that. I want my thies to be 16 inches, as well. They're 20" at the moment. I hate them!
I'm a different weight on different scales, but I'm going to go off my harsh scales (they make you seem heavier for some reason) which I am now on them, (very shamed to admit)... 126lbs.
I hundred and fucking twenty six pounds.
I weighed myself on normal scales and I'm 117lbs, which is clearly better and not as bad. I don't know how there's so much difference. Then again, my scales only cost about £8...
So if I get to 100lbs on my scales, maybe I'll actually be 91... you never know :)
And I'll only be eating about 2 meals in the duration of 4 days.
So, I've devised a new plan. I want to be 95lbs, with a 20" waist. No more 23" wanting, 20 is now my goal.
I want to go from 36, 27, 35 to > 35, 20, 33
I'm not aiming to lose the inch off of my breasts, but I know it will happen if I want to be in proportion. I'd be okay with 34" as well, but below I may start getting a little self conscious. I've always had fairy big breasts.
In 9 weeks I aim to be 100lbs (7 stone 2) with a 23" waist. Then I can lose the extra 3 inches and 5 pounds after that. I want my thies to be 16 inches, as well. They're 20" at the moment. I hate them!
I'm a different weight on different scales, but I'm going to go off my harsh scales (they make you seem heavier for some reason) which I am now on them, (very shamed to admit)... 126lbs.
I hundred and fucking twenty six pounds.
I weighed myself on normal scales and I'm 117lbs, which is clearly better and not as bad. I don't know how there's so much difference. Then again, my scales only cost about £8...
So if I get to 100lbs on my scales, maybe I'll actually be 91... you never know :)
Sunday, 3 July 2011
Nothing to be
Nothing to do or be really.
I'm only going to be 'healthy eating' for just over a week - which won't get much results. Then I go on holiday, where I will eat. I am taking diet pills with me, and when I get back I'll have 7 weeks of summer. 7 weeks to be myself, with no one around.
I shall use them 7 weeks wisely. The first four days I'll still be at college, but after that I'm free. Technically it's 7 weeks and 2 days.
It's going to be wonderful, finally, a goal again! A lovely brilliant fantastic goal.
The goal of being 95 pounds with a 22" waist. I want to be thin and perfect.
I can't wait to go back to college, to go back a happier, thinner, more beautiful version of myself.
I'm only going to be 'healthy eating' for just over a week - which won't get much results. Then I go on holiday, where I will eat. I am taking diet pills with me, and when I get back I'll have 7 weeks of summer. 7 weeks to be myself, with no one around.
I shall use them 7 weeks wisely. The first four days I'll still be at college, but after that I'm free. Technically it's 7 weeks and 2 days.
It's going to be wonderful, finally, a goal again! A lovely brilliant fantastic goal.
The goal of being 95 pounds with a 22" waist. I want to be thin and perfect.
I can't wait to go back to college, to go back a happier, thinner, more beautiful version of myself.
Thursday, 23 June 2011
Seeing No Point, yet
I was going to fast, I was going to exercise, however I see no point as of yet.
I am going on holiday in a few weeks - a holiday where I will want to eat. I'm not anorexic - just an extreme dieter at times - therefore I know I want to eat at that point. I want to enjoy that time. So if I starve myself, how bad will I feel when I put it all back on?!
I don't know what to do - I feel in control of nothing and I cried before. I've nothing to do if I haven't got a goal.
Today I had a slice of cheesecake, some prawns and chicken in rice, some coke, a bagel and a bottle of stella.
So as of now I'm nothing, no one. I'm fat and ugly and have no purpose.
I am going on holiday in a few weeks - a holiday where I will want to eat. I'm not anorexic - just an extreme dieter at times - therefore I know I want to eat at that point. I want to enjoy that time. So if I starve myself, how bad will I feel when I put it all back on?!
I don't know what to do - I feel in control of nothing and I cried before. I've nothing to do if I haven't got a goal.
Today I had a slice of cheesecake, some prawns and chicken in rice, some coke, a bagel and a bottle of stella.
So as of now I'm nothing, no one. I'm fat and ugly and have no purpose.
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